she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
