omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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