yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
