How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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