I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
