He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
