please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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