no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize