Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize