you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
of course. lets lasso hookers.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
