after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Are we still banned from the library?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
