Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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