i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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