So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize