Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
