I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
