I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
