All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
