Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
