dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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