youre lurking in front of me
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
