All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
