eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
if only i could text you this smell
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
