I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
