so explain again why im purple
no
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
