You just made me feel so damn special
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
