Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
