you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
This is the prime rib incident all over again
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
