oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
