Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
