Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize