I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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