I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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