Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My vagina is very pro this idea
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