i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
vagina is talking i cant
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
