she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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