He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize