It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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