ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
