the day after is always just damage control
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
