just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
