Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
