I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
