He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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