where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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