I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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