we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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