Porn is love you can see.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize