do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
