feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize