I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Randomize
