She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
NoShamevember. You game?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
