At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
