Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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