Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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