A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Randomize
