He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize