i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just pee around me
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
