did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
