I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
