let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
