The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
