Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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