we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
