Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
that's an acceptable place to lick
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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