Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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